No, it was not all in our head.
Too many times these stories stay there. Too ashamed to talk about something we have not done, to scared that people will blame on us, we keep silent.
And this creates a false impression about how safe our world is.
Years ago, when #metoo was all over the social networks I had mixed feelings about it. First, I do not see myself as a victim. Sure, I was and I might still be a target, but I will not let this make me pity myself.
There are so many predators out there and I am so aware of this, but I refuse to froze. Instead I want to learn anything that can help me become more resilient.
Second, if I see myself as the victim, hopeless and all the time in danger, I might start to hate men. All of them. And I do not want this.
I do not like when some men are treating me like shit because I am woman. They are demonising me for the crime-to-be. I did nothing to them, still I am nothing more than an animal, an object, something to label, hate and humiliate because I have a X chromosome instead of the Y one. I do not want to answer the same way. It is not a path worth walking.
But there was value in the #metoo movement. If I would have the power to choose what people would learn from it I would choose this:
Most of the women are experiencing sexual abuse in their life. And most of them, at such a young age that any decent human being should feel shocked by realisation of the magnitude of this problem.
The more violent a country is, the bigger the problem. As a Romanian, I do not know even one woman, not a single one who did not experienced sexual harassment.
And the stories I hear... most of them were no more than 6-8 years old when they first were having an encounter with someone who touched, kissed them or spoke to them in inappropriate ways. ☹