30+ Funny Non-Swearing Insults
Have you ever had a moment when reading/hearing a rude comment you felt so triggered you could not avoid an argument? Or maybe it was the other way around, you said something (not necessarily rude) that offended someone?
I bet the answer is yes. This is a universal experience, there are not too many people who can escape this.
With all my love for Nonviolent Communication and all my meditation practice I constantly find myself triggered: men making fun of women being raped, parents bullying their children, people blaming Ukrainians for provoking Russia, and, consequently, starting the war…
I tend to see social media as a good way to practice compassion. It gives us this incredibly precious opportunity to stop and think before answering — a luxury we might not have in real-time interactions when we feel pressured to answer on-spot.
CAN FACEBOOK TEACH US SOMETHING ABOUT OURSELVES?
The Sarcastic Zen Cuss that Changed My Life
With this level of unfiltered hate, I encounter online those days my Zen-ish practice with social media is way harder and more challenging.
So I rely on another tool: sarcasm.
Here are my favorite ways to tell somebody to get lost:
- I am not insulting you. I am describing you.
- I would like to explain it to you but I do not have my colored crayons with me.
- Keep rolling your eyes, maybe you’ll find a brain back there.
- I am soo happy that I do know you personally.
- Oh, I didn’t realize you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it. Please continue while I take notes.
- If lying was a job, you would be a billionaire.
- You are such a teacher to me. Thank you for helping me to realize how blessed I am not to be around you.
- I’m sorry I offended you with my common sense.
- If you don’t want the answer, don't ask…